Viewing or Witnessing a Cremation in America
A beautiful state-of-the-art “cremation viewing” room
(Credit: allenfamilyfuneraloptions.com)
The age-old practice of cremating a loved one out in an open air “Pyre” (a topic we have covered prior) is still practiced throughout the world, including in some private locations in the US reserved exclusively for certain religious groups. What many people are unaware of is another indoor form called “witnessing a cremation” or “viewing a cremation” is available in many of our modern day funeral homes and crematoriums.
A plain plastic or cardboard box is typically provided, or the family can purchase or make a cremation urn to hold the cremation ashes of their beloved one.
Typical “witnessing” room for the family members
(Credit: theet.com)
This “witnessing” allows the immediate family members the opportunity to be present when their loved one is placed into the cremation chamber or “retort.” Some funeral homes or crematoriums only allow the attending family to witness the body entering the retort while others allow the family to sit to watch the full length of the cremation. This allows them to be present when the ashes are removed from the cremation chamber, placed in a box and handed (on the spot) to the family member. A plain plastic or cardboard box is typically provided, or the family can purchase or make a cremation urn to hold the cremation ashes of their beloved one. A family member is allowed to use any type of vessel they wish.
In its least attractive form, the family member stands in a bare bones and often aging, industrial-like room in which the retort sits. Retorts come in all shapes and locations, and not all are shiny state-of-the-art.
This modern option is provided to families in a variety of situated experiences. In its least attractive form, the family member stands in a bare bones and often aging, industrial-like room in which the retort sits. Retorts come in all shapes and locations, and not all are shiny state-of-the-art. Some crematories, or funeral homes, have specially designed “witnessing rooms” where homelike seating is provided to sit and watch. Some have a glass wall or window to witness the cremation while others provide an open space specially designed for the occasion. This practice of viewing a cremation is not common, but it is growing in popularity.
A personal cremation urn containing remains of a loved one can be any type you desire
(Credit: spiritualresearchfoundation.org)
Rarely do families opt to have the body placed in a casket to only be burned, but by law in most states, a cardboard box must be purchased. In rare situations, a facility may allow only a shroud to cover the person being cremated. A cremation typically takes three to five hours depending on the size of the person.
Witnessing a cremation is a practice used by some American religious groups, including the Hindus, in a ceremony where a specific family member pushes the retort button as a symbol for lighting the fire. But witnessing a cremation can be for anyone for any number of reasons. Some simply need the comfort of closure by being present as the body is placed in the chamber. Others have the need to be present for the length of the cremation to watch as the ashes are removed, prepared and then handed to them. They have the personal need to be sure they have the ashes of their beloved. There are always some larger bone fragments remaining, about the size of a thin stick to draw a line in the sand. These are pulverized by a small special machine. The size of the remaining bones depends on the temperature of the retort. Many funeral homes do not have their own crematory, so witnessing is not always an option.
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I just paid almost $600 to view my grandmother one more time before she was cremated some of my family is saying that that’s illegal and that I was scammed and yet I still believe it is this real that I have to pay that much money in order to see my my grandmother
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Hi Caleb,
I don’t know the answer to that question, but it seems rather suspicious to me. I suggest you contact the FTC, which is responsible for regulating the funeral industry and enforcing the Funeral Rule. You can file a complaint by going to http://www.ftc.gov/complaint or calling 1-877-FTC-HELP.
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How totally mercenary charging you even more money at an already emotionally painful time ,sorry you were treated like this .
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I’m looking for help right now to avoid Caleb’s situation.
1. Caring Cremations in Chicago charges $906 for direct cremation BUT $900 for viewing the cremation!!!
2. Illinois Cremation Center charges $715 for direct cremation + Cook County cremation permit+ 1 copy of certified death certificate BUT they don’t allow the process to be viewed.
3. Cremation Society of Illinois charges $1900 for direct cremation, permit, and death certificate, but just $295 to attend the cremation.
For the Chicago, Illinois area any insight and/or recommendations for direct cremation costing less than $1000 AND viewing the cremation for $300 or less.
My brother is still at the hospital morgue waiting on me to make arrangements.
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It’s good to know that witnessing a cremation can help some people find the closure that they are seeking. Ever since my uncle passed away, my brother has been unable to come to terms with his unexpected death since he wanted him to attend his wedding next year. Maybe witnessing his cremation will help my brother find the peace that he needs to move on.
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Yes it does works for some. We all have a personal experience with death and loss. It is up to the person who can only travel their own journey.
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My husband’s cremation is scheduled next week. I paid to “witness” his cremation, which is, in fact, seeing him for a few minutes before his body is placed in the retort. I assumed I would be able to approach him, but after reading the article I am not sure.
I chose “witnessing” service on two reasons, the main of which may sound shockingly practical. I just don’t trust the funeral home and want to make sure that my husband’s body is treated with respect, at least in his final minutes. I won’t really be able to tell if he was washed (paid service), but I want to make sure he is dressed (paid service, as well) as he used to, before cancer made him bed-ridden.
The thing is that the funeral home employee, who I passed his favorite attire to, was checking the fabric of his blazer and making comments on the quality of his boots and embroidered initials on his shirt, all while going through the clothes and throwing them back in the box – as if she would have been a buyer at a store, not a funeral home employee.
No, I have no reason to think that they will steal his belongings. But the cynicism of people working in this industry, I suspect, can go that far that they could just skip the work of washing and dressing their clients or the bother of treating them with decency. I have seen how alive people are treated in rehabs/nursing homes, so I have no illusions about what is going on behind closed doors.
The second reason is that I do want to see my husband one last time and be next to him while I still can, as it has been through years. Because of COVID restrictions, sometimes that would be coming to the hospital and sitting outside, near the wall or on a parking lot, although we could not see each other.
They say, a body is just a vessel, and the soul is immortal. As an agnostic, I hold to both the hope that his spirit is immortal and to the chance to see and touch him one last time.
I don’t see how witnessing the cremation/burial could be a “closure” of any sort, unless the person went missing for a long time and you didn’t know if they dead or alive, and, finally, you see the facts. But I strongly believe that the law should guarantee the right of customers to be present at the cremation, without any payment and/or conditions, or the license is to be revoked. After that, it is entirely up to the customer whether exercise the right or not, on whatever reasons they might have.
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Hi Akiva,
First off, I’m sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose a spouse, and your desire to make sure he is treated with respect is absolutely understandable. Witnessing has also been a great comfort to many people who got to be with their loved one ne last time.
I am shocked that you have to pay for witnessing the cremation, to be honest. Or that washing and dressing his body is an “extra” service. It seems that would be the very least the funeral home could do, and it should be covered by the cremation fee. But that’s the funeral industry. They are largely unregulated and have the right to charge for whatever they want. and usually do.
I hope the cremation goes smoothly and that you find some comfort in being their. My heart goes out to you.
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