Our Weekly Tip: Express Your Grief Through Clothing

Credit: Flickr.com

Our Tip of the Week: Western society used to have strict rules in place for funeral and memorial attire, with Victorian widows wearing elaborate crepe gowns for months, even years, after their husbands’ deaths. But over the past century, it’s rare to see surviving loved ones wear memorial clothes anymore. But perhaps we can learn something from the Victorians. Having a “uniform of grief,” especially in the months immediately following a loved one’s death, allows you to remember your loved one each day, and reminds those around you that you need space and time to heal.

Credit: Flickr.com

How-to Suggestion: If you want to go with traditional mourning clothes, start by wearing dark, neutral shades like black, dark grey or navy blue. However, you’re not obligated to wear these colors. You can pick your loved one’s favorite color, for instance, and vow to wear it every day, or you can wear a simple sash or ribbon in your hair signifying your loss. The clothes themselves aren’t as important as their meaning.

Choose a wardrobe that takes you out of your daily routine, and stick with it for a specified amount of time (e.g. four months). Talk to your friends, family and coworkers about what you’re doing so that they can be reminded that you’re in mourning whenever they see you wearing the clothes. Once your specified mourning period is over, you can go back to wearing your usual clothes. You probably won’t be fully healed by then, but the process can help you get through the first few months.