Tag Archives: Funny Quotes about Death

“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.”

- Ed Furgol

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

- Jerry Seinfeld

“If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?”

-George Carlin

“Old people at weddings always poke me and said ‘you’re next.’ So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.”

- Anonymous

“I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.”

- George Carlin

“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.”

- Truman Capote

Tag Archives: Funny Quotes about Death

“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.”

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

“If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?”

“Old people at weddings always poke me and said ‘you’re next.’ So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.”

“I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.”

“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.”

Tag Archives: Funny Quotes about Death

“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.”

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

“If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?”

“Old people at weddings always poke me and said ‘you’re next.’ So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.”

“I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.”

“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.”