“About What Was Lost, 20 Writers on Miscarriage, Healing, and Hope” by Jessica Berger Gross

I went through my own experience of a miscarriage many years ago and like all other women who have miscarried – it was unique.

First, I went through the costly trials and tribulations of In vitro fertilisation (IVF) and against all odds successfully got pregnant. Such joy to achieve. Then on the appointed day of my ultrasound, based on my IVF implantation date, I’m told my one beautifully successful implanted egg has no pregnancy yolk sac. I’m stunned. I never even knew humans had yolks. This missing yolk sac, due to appear late, signaled a child to be born with birth defects of some sort. Immediate fear and confusion ensued. This was my one and only chance at a family. I struggled back and forth with wanting a child and the fear of what type of birth defect my child might have. To read what happened, here it is on our blog column Opening Our Hearts.

Like my story, sharing our experiences is a way many of us choose to heal from a trauma or loss. When the book About What Was Lost, 20 Writers on Miscarriage, Healing, and Hope came into our office, I grabbed it to personally review. It’s a collection of 20 stories written by different writers with each of their personal journeys and emotions surrounding a miscarriage. I spent a luxurious sun-flooded Saturday in California’s Sonoma lounging under an arbor by hot spring pools reading the collection. The variety of writing styles is evident by each voice. As would be expected, I could not help but search for a similar story to mine.

It was not there.

“Right then and there, I had a strong urge to start jumping up and down to try to end the pregnancy. But then I put my hand on my stomach and felt the faint swell.”

Excerpt from About What Was Lost, 20 Writers on Miscarriage, Healing and Hope; story “A Globe of Light”

This book is for women who have suffered a miscarriage and seek to ride the stars of hope for success with their next pregnancy. If your door has closed, or you had a miscarriage from an unwanted pregnancy, or you believe life is beautiful on either side of the fence, including a life without children (like me), then this book will leave you feeling alone.

Don’t get me wrong, I truly enjoyed the stories. But this is a book of hope. This is a book for mothers who failed and than succeed. Who, in the end, ride off into the sunset of life tenderly holding the hands of their sweet-smelling children.

Read about a national nonprofit organization “Now I Lay me Down to Sleep“ that photographs stillborn infants or infants who die shortly after birth.

Check out “The Sweet Pea Project,” which donates blankets to hospitals for stillborn infants and includes a book, Still: a Collection of Honest Artwork and Writings from the heart of a Grieving Mother.