Our Weekly Tip: Use Exercise to Cope with Sudden Loss

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Our Tip of the Week: Unexpected loss unleashes a torrent of emotions — shock and disbelief, anger, sadness, guilt, and remorse are just some of the feelings that survivors describe after the sudden death of someone they love. Although all loss is difficult, the intensity of the reaction following a sudden death can feel overwhelming to those left behind. This is especially true if the death was the result of a violent act or suicide. For many people who have experienced such a tragedy, dealing with the emotional aftermath can seem like an impossible feat. For some of these survivors, physical activity can serve as an outlet for emotions and a means of processing intense grief.

How-to-Suggestion: After a sudden loss, you will almost certainly experience a period of shock in which you feel a sense of detachment, numbness, and disbelief. Much like the physical reaction of a body exposed to overwhelming trauma, this reaction is your mind’s way of shutting down all but the most essential processes until it has some time to adjust. After the shock waves wear off, intense emotions will begin to manifest themselves. This is the time when physical exercise can provide relief.

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If you are not an athletic person, start by taking a brisk walk for 15 to 20 minutes when your emotions become too hard to bear. For many people, walking outdoors is most helpful; there is something inherently soothing to the order and beauty of the natural world. If possible, walk alone so you are free to express any intense emotions that may come up.

As you begin to become accustomed to walking, try jogging or running — any activity that brings your heart rate up and makes you perspire. As Vicki Costa, a clinical social worker and grief counselor with Safe Harbor Counseling in Bel Air, Maryland explains, sweating out toxins is healing in both a physical and emotional way. “It’s how the body cries,” she says. 

Exercise will not make your pain go away or magically change the way you feel. But it can serve as an important tool to help you integrate and come to terms with your terrible loss.