Tag Archives: Funny Quotes

“The living are just the dead on holiday.”

- Maurice Maeterlinck

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

- Mark Twain

“At my age, flowers scare me.”

- George Burns

“At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page, and if I’m not there, I carry on as usual.”

- Patrick Moore

“At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.”

- David Sedaris

“I don’t believe in the afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.”

- Woody Allen

Tag Archives: Funny Quotes

“The living are just the dead on holiday.”

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

“At my age, flowers scare me.”

“At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page, and if I’m not there, I carry on as usual.”

“At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.”

“I don’t believe in the afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.”

Tag Archives: Funny Quotes

“The living are just the dead on holiday.”

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

“At my age, flowers scare me.”

“At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page, and if I’m not there, I carry on as usual.”

“At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.”

“I don’t believe in the afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.”